My honest review of the hotel room that costs more than I earn in a month

Let’s be honest: we’ve all scrolled on the toilet more than we’d like to admit.

But searching for the very toilet you’re sitting, on via your phone’s Bluetooth devices? For me, at least, a first.

Saving your preferred seat temperature for next time is an unusual perk, but it’s one that awaits at London’s Sofitel St. James hotel.

The same Sofitel that is one of the world’s most prestigious five-star hotel chains.

This illustrious building had a former life as the HQ for army banking agency Cox & Kings, before it became a Lloyds Bank. 

In 2002, the bank was transformed into the palatial five-star hotel it is today, but thankfully it’s held on to many of its original features.

The bomb-proof safe where the King’s stamp collection lived during World War II can still be seen, and the former bank vault, with its high concrete ceilings, is now a multi award-winning spa.

The hotel has two new flagship suites (one opera themed, one 1970s), and four Prestige Suites – one of which was my digs for the night (!!!).

With a prestige price tag to match, this is not your typical staycation. Metro checks in to see how the other half live.

Location, location, location

Just a 10-minute walk from Waterloo over London Bridge in the heart of Westminster, the hotel’s perch on Waterloo Place is perfect for tourists (but certainly adds to the premium cost).

Much is on the doorstep, from the shops and restaurants of St James’s and Jermyn Street to Fortnum & Mason, the Royal Academy of Arts and Mayfair to the north, Buckingham Palace and Green Park to the west, Covent Garden to the east and The Thames to the south, all within walking distance.

French hotel chain Sofitel says its schtick is pairing Parisian luxury with the vibe of the location. The St. James does this perfectly – the building is full of the Edwardian elegance this stretch of London is known for. 

And once you’re in, you have a bird’s eye view of the action.

There’s two ‘Klein blue’ Prestige Suites, for instance, which overlook Waterloo Place, and the ‘Wimbledon green’ pads which capture a stunning vista of Pall Mall.

You can also see Banksy’s new Blind Nationalism statue from the green suite’s window.

The suite

In the lift to the first floor, Sofitel’s lovely host Jinny explains that in most hotels, the higher you go, the fancier the room. But here, it’s the reverse.

Being a Grade II listed building, the Prestige, Opera and 1970s suites are all on the first floor, to allow for use of electric appliances.

All six of the new suites were designed by celebrated French ‘interiors architect’ Pierre-Yves Rochon, and all have their own playful opulence.

Mine is green, and boy had you better like green. There is a LOT. It’s dopamine decor for the ultra-rich.

The emerald carpets, curtains and furniture give the room a fun feel, and I especially loved the enormous mirror covering the wall between the living area and bedroom.

The bedroom is kitted out with a ridiculously comfortable king-sized bed, framed by a velvet cushioned wall and headboard. 

In the black and white tiled bathroom is a deep porcelain bathtub, walk-in rainfall shower and double vanity basins – and of course, the TOTO Japanese smart toilet.

Food and drink 

Wild Honey, the hotel’s one Michelin star restaurant, has received several nods, including England’s Best Restaurant at the 2024 Culinary Awards.

I didn’t eat there, so the accolades must speak for themselves.

Instead, I dined at Bistrot at Wild Honey, the more relaxed of the hotel’s two restaurants which spills out onto a terrace.

The service is exquisite, and you can watch the world go by as you sip the hotel’s signature ‘custard’ – not the lumpy school dinner stuff, but a vodka cocktail infused with surplus dessert from the kitchen. It’s good.

Sumptuous salami croquettes and salty tuna tartare are on offer to start, and both are excellent.

These are followed by perfectly cooked sirloin steak with peppercorn sauce and a house burger that elevates a classic using top drawer meat.

To end the night, order a signature cocktail from the intimate indoor St James bar.

A sweet and sour grapefruit St. James spritz will cleanse your palette and have you ready to hit the pillow on the floor above.

Not your usual spa 

Downstairs in the spa, you’ll find a steam room and jacuzzi. However, there’s no sauna or communal space for swimming or relaxing.

Space may be at a premium in this part of London, but really I expected more from a hotel of this calibre.

Still, what it lacks in facilities, it makes up for in treatments and touches.

A signature massage will have your worries melting away. You start with your choice of aromatherapy oil and end with a cup of soothing red berry tea.

Prices start from £75 for 30 minutes, to £195 for a 90 minute deep tissue massage, or £150 for a deluxe hydrafacial.

If the spa doesn’t do it for you, you could spend the time having afternoon tea at the Rose Lounge instead, and feel just as rejuvenated.

How much does it cost?

Brace yourself. 

For a one night stay in mid-August (for a non-member) the Prestige Suite’s standard rate is… £1812.48.

To get breakfast, that goes up to £2,188.93. To guarantee free cancellation, it’s going to be £2628.59.

If that’s all too much (and for this writer, dear reader, it is), you can eat at Michelin star Wild Honey for £98 (it’s a 3-course à la carte menu).

At Bistrot at Wild Honey, the more casual little sister, starters are between £11 and £24, and mains around £30.

Breakfast at the Bistrot is exceptional and a real highlight, so if you’re lucky enough to be able to stay, pay to have it included.

There’s everything from freshly baked buttery croissants to maple and banana pancakes, made with seasonal (and where possible, local) produce.

I am quite certain that I will never darken the door of this glorious establishment again.

But if you’ve got the cash, I would certainly recommend splashing it on a stay at the Sofitel St. James. 

I’ll keep dreaming about my night there instead.

Isabel Fraser was a guest of Sofitel London St James but don’t expect us to sugarcoat anything — our reviews are 100% independent.

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